All in my head?

There is a phrase that has been going through my head constantly since we told our families we were pregnant again.

“Oh, well, OK. Hope it works out this time. ”

That’s about as enthusiastic as 90% of our family was. 5% was fake enthusiastic, and 5% were genuinely excited for us.

There was a lot of feelings of ok, whatever, just let us know IF you bring a baby home this time and it doesn’t die.

Honestly, I was really hurt by our families. I guess I expected there to be tears of joy and happiness for us. Instead, we were met with blank stares and “I just figured you wouldn’t try again. You didn’t seem to be handling things well.”

It kind of felt like a slap to the face. Almost the whole of both of our families was like this. I guess we just shouldn’t have told them. I won’t be sending them updates on the pregnancy as I did last time. What’s the point?

I was really hoping for a warm reception for Skittles. I really didn’t want his/her announcement to cause me more pain. I’m never going to be over the loss of my daughters, there is no magic cure, but I guess people just expect me to just say, “Well, shit happens! That sucks. Time to move on!”

I’m sorry. I just can’t do that. I love Skittles, and I was so excited about him/her I wanted to share the news with our families. I should have known better…